Friday, 31 October 2008
however, i'm the type of person who doesn't sleep well if i'm excited before bedtime, so it took a lot of self-restraint not to call anybody as i laid on my bed with ghostly images in my head
no nightmares =)
weather is freaking hot these days. i have to shower 3 times a day and switch on the air conditioner-- i don't even do that during the summer-summer months!
eunice will be going on holiday with grandma and uncle boon to cambodia soon. i want to take advantage of parents' odd guilt that i wasn't invited [for no other reason than because my surname is not tan] and ask them to let me go to japan.
is $5k inclusive of airfare, insurance, accomodation, food and whatnot expensive?
i swear, the tan family is super happening lately-- cambodia in november, hong kong in december
i wanna go hong kong badly, badly but not with my relatives [not that i was invited]. i can't seem to find anybody i'd like to go on holiday with.
dad has that mix of fierce pride and.. i don't know, a sort of sad love? that parents exhibit when their kids are excluded from something. parents kept asking me if i want to join them, dad even went, 'chin up, you're a lim! your dad will sponsor you!'
so of course i grabbed the moment to ask, 'since you're already planning to spend money on me, can i go to usa instead?'
the answer was the usual, 'noo you're too young, bla bla bla..'
what lah =.=''
Thursday, 30 October 2008
it felt fantastic, a bit like how i felt when i first learned how to ride a bike at 17
what's less fantastic is when my right calf cramped like hell in the middle of the night
i recall waking and stretching in semi-consciousness
it did not get better
i hate cramps as there's nothing i can do about it but suffer til it stops
and to think i had been consuming milk products religiously! [yeah yeah, rather have kidney stones instead of cramps]
it hurt all through the next day =(
it's 9:05am and mum has given me 2 lectures on weight loss
the 1st one occurred when i was going to eat a banana during breakfast
she freaked out
and just now she was thinking about opening a bank account for fann
and that led to her considering opening a bank account for me as well [yeah, we have nil savings]
i didn't want a maybank account en-cas i go to aus next year
that got her thinking about how fattening aus food is
and she popped in lecture no.2
you have no idea how sien it is to listen to this shit all the time, at every meal at home
1 lecture / day is more than enough to depress me, thanks
she has split personality lah-- sometimes keep asking me to eat, sometimes getting worked up over.. a banana
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
she ate cat food hahahah
can't believe it, so hot some more!
sometimes saruon goes, 'coco's food smells nice, i want to eat!' but i never let her do so
and now joe chen is eating cat food!
what is the world becoming~
i couldn't finish my paper today =(
but saw j in specs for the first time-- the lazy twerp probably burned midnight oil last night
still cute =)
and at least my forever-flu is getting better
Saturday, 25 October 2008
So, do any of you remember the famous Mischel experiments from the 60's about pre-schoolers and impulse control?
This was the one where a 4 year old was put alone in a room with a marshmallow. The kid could either choose to eat the marshmallow, or could resist temptation and wait until an adult returned, in which case the reward was two marshmallows.
Some kids were able to wait up to 20 minutes for their reward; others caved and ate the marshmallow in front of them in less than a minute.(You probably know which kid you would have been).The fascinating thing was: they followed these kids, and the ones who could Master the Marshmallow? They were way more successful in other areas of life as they grew older. The longer a kid could hold out, the better his or her grades, SAT scores, social skills, etc. were.
Marshmallow Mastery skills are very important in life, apparently, and science is hard at work figuring out how to improve them.
Because now, according to a fascinating article in the Boston Globe, they're getting neuroscientists involved and using brain imaging techniques to examine these "kids"--now in their 40's. They can actually see particular areas of the brain light up when people hold out or give in to temptation, and they want to figure out how to train people to be disciplined, successful Two-Marshmallow Achievers instead of lame, impulsive, One-Marshmallow Losers.
original entry here
dale carnegie always said in his books that what we want to do asap is usually the wrong thing. so it's true. enlightening
Friday, 24 October 2008
usually i'd be in a mess-- counting money, drafting reports on where their money went, regretting the weight i put on when they were away. but today i'm doing surprisingly well.
i didn't spend much, stayed at home every night, didn't even eat out except for pasar malam trips. i've been a Good Girl =) happiness. plus i was in a fat phase even before they left so it doesn't matter what i look like now. hahah
this morning it was cold and rainy and generally wonderful sleeping weather but somebody had to wake up to get her brother's slow ass out the door to the office.
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
ouchh sore all over now. shoulders are probably due to cleo november exercises that i tried but cheeks?! ate too much?! too much face-toning exercises? something wrong somewhere lah~
this is the first time i couldn't figure an accounting question out even with my textbook open and worse [or worst], even when i had the correct working spread out in front of me. finals in 6days. f*ck f*ck f*ck. i made a pact with god that i'll work my butt off this sem if he let me pass all my subjects last sem. so now i have nothing more to bargain anymore. argh i think i've been reading too much american gods.
i love marketing. not the elective i'm taking in uni now, but pasar pagi. or malam. i went this morning to buy ingredients for the last few meals i have to plan before parents return in 3days. i enjoy cooking so i always try new recipes whenever parents are away from home. family maid saruon is forever trying to get me to whip up one of the 'nice! delicious!' dishes for mum but i have a bit of anti-adult syndrome. whenever there are 'grown-ups' around i automatically clam up.
the last time i cooked for family was in form 3, aged 15, silly little girl scout participating in a cooking competition and needing loads of practice. i attempted a sweet soup [chinese dessert] at home and had the ill luck of mum bumping into me in the then tiny kitchen. she nearly killed me for not washing the ingredients and refused to touch the dessert. thank goodness for dad who consoled me, 'quite yummy lah'. my bad for not washing [when you're a scout who'd scooped food up from soil and shoved it into your mouth without getting stomachache your definition of 'clean' changes] but she didn't have to be so mean. we got 2nd place anyway =)
i had a craving for korean ja jang [fried sauce] noodles so i popped by korean village on the way back from delivering documents in ampang. normally i dislike dining alone but it felt almost comfortable in the korean restaurant.
cooked fried gochujang [hot pepper sauce] for fann's dinner of bibimpap [mixed rice]-- just checked, and fann finished his dinner, which is a good sign. to finish off the packet of gochujang i bought, fann, saruon and i have been eating korean for 3meals in a fortnight.
on sunday fann, his friends and i went to kang san ea restaurant as fann wanted to have ja jang rice but i'd thought he meant bibimpap so he wasn't too happy with what i ordered for him. his friends were as abnormal as my scout buddies who are comfortable with parading in front of me in their underwear- 'just imagine i'm wearing trunks'- duh. guys just don't enjoy sour food the way girls do. shiro [don't like!] makan with people who aren't enjoying themselves. it didn't help that i was the slowest eater among them all. why am i always the only girl with a group of nutty guys?!!
my dinner tonight was 'banana cream pie'. it's the first recipe i tried from french women don't get fat and it's delicious. the book is one of my fave too.
walau eh entire entry about food. tomorrow morning will cook onion-apple soup if there's time. heard it's useful for protection against radiation from computers.
love jay's snake dance. jay jay jay! summertime is awesome too. very breezy and relaxing.
Sunday, 19 October 2008
sore throat, blocked nose, the works
i haven't been ill in such a long time that i was mostly shocked to feel so crap
is it due to the poison i'd been consuming for the past week as main meals?-- butter cookies, kit kat, cream crackers, ice cream..
or is it due to the alcohol and cigarette on thursday?
maison sucks now, and i used to love it so much
it used to be so classy to me
one important characteristic that i look for in clubs is that they have to be dim, sans laser lights
maison is so bright now we can all see each other clearly, and the purpose of clubbing is to mask oneself in the darkness, which always makes everybody look hotter
what's the point of going somewhere so well-lit you can't do anything embarassing for fear of damaging your rep?
smoked my first whole cigarette. well, almost- yang took the first and last puff
i'd never finished one by myself before. i took a drag of menthol last year and was so sickened harry had to finish it for me
the normal varieties are a convenient distraction when one is bored senseless in clubs though
thursday was so dull as there were not enough girls
the only other girl in our group was pissed by the time i arrived
she's stick thin and should be quite pretty- large eyes and all- but she freaked me out by trying to kiss me. actually she was trying to kiss everybody
since she's drunk, there were no other girls to play with me
so i drank more than i usually would- normally i don't drink at all
but there wasn't much liquor left as we were late
for the first time i drank enough to get a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy
i hate newspapers
i hate all the bad news inside
if i let myself think about all the shit happening around me i'd probably get suicidal
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
today ys saw me again for the first time in months, and he asked at the first chance, 'did you get fatter?'
i wasn't happy but i'd promised myself apple pie, ice cream and waffles once my dratted period is over
so i cancelled sushi with stella and had my treat
the waffle was awful.. where can one find edible waffles nowadays?
waffle world's waffles are not sweet enough, a&w's waffles are too salty and soft, easy way's have an odd burnt odor
i had a quarter mc apple pie and a quarter banana pie with ice cream
the new oreo berries mcflurry is sweet enough to give me a sugar rush-- i found myself smiling for no reason
mm.. just remembered.. oreo seems to contain melamine
whatever my home is stocked with discounted milk products now-- cheese, milk, yoghurt, ice cream, chocolate, butter cookies etc.
mum can never resist 'discounts'
i'd planned to jog when i reached home, but the nanosecond i pulled into the driveway, raindrops started falling on my car
pleased with my non food purchases of yellow sharpie highlighter and brow razors though
tried shaving my brows just now but i feel they're uneven now
Monday, 13 October 2008
my korean fried rice cakes went well yesterday =)
even picky eater fann had a mini fit when he realized there was none for him--
most guys dislike korean cuisine so i didn't think he would enjoy it
actually he wasn't a fan of the rice cakes but he liked everything else, namely the sauce, cabbage and fish cakes
so today i re-cooked the dish sans rice cakes, replacing them with cabbage and fish cakes
saruon and i used half the dish to fry our rice with
one thing i can't stand is ugliness
that's why i always feel like vomitting in dad's office
i sound like an ungrateful brat, but whenever i see one of those deformed patients i can't continue eating my lunch
whenever i get fat i can't stand myself either
i love rain, but not at 6pm, which is my jogging or biking time
i hate lightning and thunder though-- they freak me out
reading american gods-- a book fit to give me nightmares
wearing o2 contact lenses-- it's harder than my usual soflens and GOT STUCK IN MY EYE!
watching prince turns into frog-- the record breaking taiwanese drama, surpassed only by fated to love you
chen qiao en starred in both, she's so lucky, i like her
feeling peckish.. for waffles
missing the cute dress i saw in f block last friday
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Friday, 10 October 2008
but i'm sitting at home, wishing i could go to pasar malam to buy a long necklace and maybe some junk food
thanks to my super irregular period
the thought of suffering the first few days of menses in a wet forest far away from civilization just daunts me
drove to find eunice, actually, i was more interested in my principles of macroeconomics study guide which was in her possession after my tutorial this morning
it was fantastic to see her again though
we lunched at wendy's
i'd never heard anything bad about wendy's and it's always full but i was sorely disappointed with my grilled chicken burger today
it was like eating a salt chunk
when i took my first bite the words 'chicken of the sea' popped into my mind
the chicken was about as salty as the south china sea [redang]
the free chicken nuggets were satisfactory though, as were the fries
eunice had something like double cheeseburger
now that was yummy
the vanilla oreo frosty was too sweet for my liking
what i crave right now is apple pie with ice-cream
after lunch we went to f block
saw a lovely dress but i'd promised myself not to buy any article of clothing above $35
clothes are ridiculously costly nowadays
i told eunice a funny story about mum
she'd applied for a popular card last night
but didn't get to use it [it offers a 10% discount] as the shop didn't stock what she wanted
she was unhappy about being unable to put the card to use
so she hung out at the cashier
this man came to pay, and mum asked, 'would you like to use my card? you can get a 10% discount'
the man was flabbergasted but agreed
hahah mum is so crazy sometimes
Monday, 6 October 2008
it's one of the better books i'd read in a loong looong time
in fact, it's probably the only book i'd read in awhile
like fated to love you, it brought tears to my eyes
i'm turning into a big crybaby
last saturday i attended facilitator training to prepare for the raleigh introduction weekend this friday
nisha [another nisha in charge of training, not my monash friend] said i was too soft
i have to get used to speaking loudly, standing with feet planted wide, hands behind me
i also have to buy dailies [contact lenses]
it's been a month since my specs broke and all this peering at things sans glasses are taking its toll on my eyes and back
i'm seeing blurry doubles everywhere and my shoulders and back are sore from constantly hunching over books and computers
anyway before training began last saturday i had breakfast at old town
it was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life, to curl up on a sofa with angela's ashes
a ham-and-cheese polo bun and hot mocha white coffee in front of me
i like caffeine once in a while
overdid it last thursday when out with the so-called 7 brothers of scouts though
my heart was pumping super fast though i'm only sitting in front of computer watching fated to love you
thanks to the ice blended coffee i had
had an a&w ice-cream waffle on thursday night before watching connected
all that cold food is making my stomach cramp
the waffle was too salty but the movie was awesome
big s was gorgeous and the film was exciting with some hilarious parts
liu ye rocked in it! he's a fantastic actor and fann couldn't even tell that this was the same dude who played the crown prince in curse of the chrysanthemum throne
yam cha-ed at rendezvous after the movie
the vanilla twister is way sweet
i've been going out almost daily during my sem break
friday before raya-- a boring dinner + dance at monash
me + ex partner kevin who knew how to dance
wednesday- connought pasar malam with cute guys
guo wei, keat + i at connought mcdonald's
mun keat, ke, me + chea sheng
me + ke
we took more photos but they're with god-knows-who
i want my photos!
most of my high school friends have put on weight like i did
saturday-- ke's farewell bbq
at ke's holiday home
as the photos show, i'm getting progessively fatter
but nothing beats my brother's news
-he was the last in a 6-car pile-up
all i can say is, what goes around comes around
he was always laughing at my driving skill but now he holds the most stellar record amongst us
benz is a tough car but he managed to mutilate it
poor me, now i have to continue waking at 5:30am to send him to school
even if the bloody camry comes
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
girl, 'why would i want to do that? i'm talking with my friend.'
boy, 'stop talking to her, and buy me a drink.'
me-- is this courtship ritual the new 'in' thing? maybe i've been out of the market for too long
my project this sem break is watching fated to love you, which took taiwan by storm
sadly, it is tacky, recycled nonsense, though they have some funny nonsense
case in point--
mother and daughter chatting on the night of daughter's wedding
mother, 'if ever your husband bullies you, or if ever anybody bullies you, call home asap! even if it is the middle of the night and there are no boats leaving for the mainland, i'll run to the beach and ride a dolphin to save you!'
haha i loved this part and rewatched it many times
it's what mum said to me many times before
i'm loving mum today as she bought me a brown paper bag-ful of egg cakes or kuih bahulu
i'm so easily pleased i feel like a sucker
oo my emo coco just came in
she's damn emo lately, keep trotting upstairs to lie at our feet
i suspect she's pregnant
anyway may be going out with hot guys again later
we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about
but we're good at spewing crap and i love them because they're all hot and it's so rare to have many cute guys in the same place at the same time