Sunday, 19 October 2008


woke early feeling like a piece of shit this morning

sore throat, blocked nose, the works

i haven't been ill in such a long time that i was mostly shocked to feel so crap

is it due to the poison i'd been consuming for the past week as main meals?-- butter cookies, kit kat, cream crackers, ice cream..

or is it due to the alcohol and cigarette on thursday?

maison sucks now, and i used to love it so much

it used to be so classy to me

one important characteristic that i look for in clubs is that they have to be dim, sans laser lights

maison is so bright now we can all see each other clearly, and the purpose of clubbing is to mask oneself in the darkness, which always makes everybody look hotter

what's the point of going somewhere so well-lit you can't do anything embarassing for fear of damaging your rep?

smoked my first whole cigarette. well, almost- yang took the first and last puff

i'd never finished one by myself before. i took a drag of menthol last year and was so sickened harry had to finish it for me

the normal varieties are a convenient distraction when one is bored senseless in clubs though

thursday was so dull as there were not enough girls

the only other girl in our group was pissed by the time i arrived

she's stick thin and should be quite pretty- large eyes and all- but she freaked me out by trying to kiss me. actually she was trying to kiss everybody

since she's drunk, there were no other girls to play with me

so i drank more than i usually would- normally i don't drink at all

but there wasn't much liquor left as we were late

for the first time i drank enough to get a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy

i hate newspapers

i hate all the bad news inside

if i let myself think about all the shit happening around me i'd probably get suicidal

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