Wednesday, 12 November 2008

the game

finished reading the game, will start picasso today, but it doesn't appeal as much as the game did

i believe everybody has an agenda, which is why i can't help asking, 'what's your point in calling?' whenever people [esp those that haven't been in touch in awhile] calls me
they are usually shocked at my bluntness but i can't help myself
usually i make up excuses not to meet up with people who are trying to get me into direct sales !#$% but i'd been reading 35 x 33 and it says helping other people is always good
so off i went to old town last night after an argument with mum over a trivial matter-- she kept claiming i didn't switch off my fan when i could swear i did
my room is bloody haunted
~
i think i have mini add
sometimes when fann talks to me i find my eyes rolling around all over the place and my mind drifting even when i'm trying to concentrate on whatever he's saying
i take hanging out with brother very seriously
i can read through the papers and not remember any of the news, esp the unpleasant ones
and last night when geat was going on about his company i had to work very hard to keep my eyes off these 3 guys at the next table smoking happily
lately i've been asking myself what i want all the time and sometimes the word 'cigarette' just pops up
to restrain myself, i decided to only smoke if a ciggie was offered to me
no wasting money on my own ciggies
i need to save up to overhaul my wardrobe
after watching high school musical 3 my love of dresses had doubled and i want to wear them all the time
~
back to my add, i had to make an effort to maintain eye contact with geat during our conversation
it's the only time we're meeting each other in a non-club environment
when i told lin i was studying accounting at monash, she'd exclaimed, 'wow! i thought you hated accounting!'
'yeah,' wry smile. 'that's why i can't sleep at night.'
i have bloody fucking insomnia and inertia now
the only time i felt alive was when i was cycling in the rain yesterday
if i stopped working out i just might be low enough on endorphins to commit suicide
~
my car was hit again-- the front and back has been revamped
this time it's the entire left side
it's not serious but it's freakin' ugly and i filed a report against the aunty who hit me
now the only original section of my car is the right side
the perodua uncle thought it was hilarious that i'm so accident-prone
i mean, the perodua guys were going, 'hey, what are you doing here again?'
and uncle will gleefully explain that i was involved in yet another accident
i'd bet i'm his favorite customer now
*groan wtf is wrong with me?!
~
got pissed at mum yesterday when she refused to let me book tickets to hk
she wanted to see a draft of my travel plans first
it makes perfect sense except that it's my parents we're talking about
i did a complete draft after extensive research last year, only to have her say i can't go after all
i was so upset i tore the draft into shreds-- very stupid of me, i know
now i refuse to do a shit-draft again!
i can be ridiculously stubborn sometimes
neil strauss says, 'later means never'-- it's too true!
it's what my parents always says to appease me
grr i say the 1st step to making a holiday come true is to book the flight tickets
not drafting the plan
~
i keep worrying that yang will cancel on our singapore trip that i'm thinking of taking up a part time job as a kindergarten teacher
but of course parents object
fuck them lah! they're getting on my already-frayed nerves
holidays are just wispy fantasies for me
i hate being disappointed
if you don't mean to deliver, don't give false hopes
i really need a ciggie now! grr~

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