arghh! i really, truly, wurly [i made that up] wana go abroad to 吹 吹 风 [darn i love that song, as well as 不 药 而 愈 ]
and xian, being a true-blue bestie [心 电 感 应 , anyone?] contacted me lately and suggested we take advantage of the recent dip in won and backpack in korea next january. of course, neither of us speak korean but i never believed language is a problem-- i survived thai all those years ago =)
the weather is, though. korea is freakin', freakin' below freezing and i'm the sucker whose gums start bleeding the milisecond i step into genting's snoworld. somehow i doubt that snoworld would be colder than a korean january.
when parents heard they went, 'none of our clothes would be warm enough for that weather.'
so i proposed buying one there. they freaked out again. it sucks. they freak out over anything i wanted to do that wasn't going to uni / usual boring shit with my friends. but it's better than freaking out over a banana.
timing!! admittedly i don't think i can tolerate the coldness either. i always suffer most during winter holidays. my sibs would be happily enjoying the 'air-conditioner' while i stole a layer of dad's jacket.
but i don't feel like giving up this chance at adventure. oh i love this word! adventure. memang ber-possibilities! i've been scouring for a travel partner to hk since forever and couldn't even come up with one lousy option, so i understand how ridiculously tough it is to find a travel partner, so i wana treasure this opportunity.
wtf wtf wtf i'm so upset. stupid yang made me so happy yesterday when he said he wanted to go hk. then of course came the have-to-consider crap. so many people have gave me false happiness lately, i wana chop them up!! grr!!
spoke to yung, too. finally, i'm talking to a normal person. i mean, yang and fish and fong and even yee sometimes are nuts. harry is ignoring me!! yung backpacked in taiwan the winter i attended a camp there, and he advised me to give up hope of finding a female partner. he hadn't heard of a female backpacker within our circles before. i loved yung so much when i realized he was going through the same shit as me-- it was !#$%^&* difficult to find somebody who was serious about going on a trip with you. there are lots of people like yang around =(
singcai wanted to go but kept complaining about air tickets. so i don't wana go with him.
everybody was either working / poor / pre-booked to other awesome holidays. ever since parents decided i was probably going to spend a huge chunk of their savings studying in aus, i'd been reduced to a semi-being. i haven't been out of the country since forever. it's like living in pause, waiting for life to start. they waved away my suggestions of applying for an internship / part time job / backpacking abroad.
arghh!! aaergha!! getting emo. i have to go back on my happy pills. wah sound like a lunatic.
where did my energy go? i used to rock at arguing with parents. the thing i hate most about arguing with parents is that i have to pretend i'm loving my choice even when i regret it. if i went to korea and all my teeth fell out from the cold, they'll be so smugly i-told-you-so i'll feel compelled to pretend i lost all my teeth on purpose so i can eat rusks 24/7
i really feel like fighting with somebody over something i really want, but i don't want anything, and the thought of any aggressiveness just makes me wana curl up in bed and hide. i'm a wimp lah. when did i become a wimp? i used to be hyper, running around class with bm cikgu chasing me with a cane. hahah i was fat that time but she was even fatter and trying to run in a baju kurung wasn't easy. darn felt so alive that time xp
please please please let me find a travel partner to hk!!
i know i don't deserve it as i'm a mean bitch who's also a racist, sexist and all the other '-ist's in the world but please please please let me find somebody i can get along with so i can at least have a worthy holiday to show off to the tan family / friends / other people who don't really care.
i feel like shadow. i feel so dry, like laura. aiyo i really have to act normal a bit. it's not like i'm dead. cheer up perk up smile =) fuckshit this is what happens when people have too much time on their hands