Saturday, 29 August 2009

i gotta feeling. i had a ball.

somewhere.. over the rainbow..

suffered through an intense week with 3 assignments due and horrible weather. think 140km/h winds. hail. thunderstorms. sonak spotted the above rainbow after we battled the elements to shop at the nearby butcher's. it's the first time we've ever seen a rainbow from end to end. wow.

fancy table settings

nearly died yesterday-- woke, struggled with assignment, then it was straight to dolling up for the ball. ever since i gained weight, i've despised all party prep. popped by ash's to use her fabulous 78-color palette. wz picked a blue shade for me. they were so fantastic at their makeup i felt intimidated and crawled back to my apartment for a nip of choya.

lesson learnt-- never skip foundation when everybody else is wearing it. you'll only feel naked and end up getting your friend to help you swipe it on the bus.

however, i did a considerable number of stuff correct-- starting my prep a few days before. mask on tue, eye mask on wed, wax and nails on thu. so i could be serenely sucking on a lollipop which i nicked off sue han while she was too panicked to care while she was running around like a headless chicken.

i'm quite smug over my dress of choice

hiding from brandon's fat-photo guerrilla

most of the other girls were decked in strapless, figure-hugging numbers which required heaps of subtle and not-so-subtle pulling up [and down]. it's obvious a strapless dress which have to be yanked up again and again to stop it from sliding down and exposing your non-matching bra, but when it's tight, too, it tends to ride up your legs, so one has to tug it down to cover non-matching undies.

it's not glam to have other girls describing your dress as comfy, but i'm prone to jumping when i'm excited, and an incident involving ice at maison has taught me that jumpers and strapless don't go well together.

my moving heart attack trigger-- brandon

brandon has quite a few shots of me legging it in his album. gosh, all the exposed lard jiggling off me, just begging to be captured by brandon and posted on his blog. brandon, when will you reform?! i'm pleased i won't be joining you at cq this weekend.


this ball was more boring than the mrs ball. the concept is different. in between courses, everybody hit the dance floor at mrs ball. here, we have performances. however, the food was delicious.

drool. you have no idea how hungry dressing up makes you.

note the v. cute baby carrots.

a surprisingly yum combo. even the pistachio ice-cream was edible.

coin-operated hair straightener. now i've seen it all.

hailing from a 3rd-world country, i was delighted when i stumbled upon this invention in robarta, where the after-party was held.

the only highlights of the ball were the food, hanging out and dancing. and that's only because i have a knack for working myself up into a high over nothing. eu jin was a surprisingly awesome dancer. he's actually quite cute when he's all suited up.

everybody should've seen him doing billie jean. dancing is fun.. even though my tipsy girlfriends kept lunging at me to give me a hug.. and nearly ripping my dangly earrings out in the process.

ooh, tempted by merdeka celebration. thank goodness i'm not patriotic.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009


of course, am procrastinating by pretending to de-stress via blogging.

watched a lovely episode of gossip girl just now-- almost shed a few tears. it was the thanksgiving episode, so family drama and mushy happy endings were unavoidable. or maybe the excess emotions stemmed from the choya i enjoyed with dinner just now. my face is red.

movies about families always makes me cry. even when watching secret, which made me cry so hard i could hardly drive afterwards, i first lost it when rain's mother thought she was crazy and put her on medication.

my family is different than most. i've met some of my friends' mums and they are all bubbly and goofy. i can't picture my mum coming to sleepover and cook and chat with my friends. she doesn't do that sort. my friends tell their mums most stuff, but i can't imagine calling mum and saying, 'hey mum! somebody asked me out today!'

sometimes my friends call to talk about.. things going on in their lives i.e. i like him but he might not be serious so should i accept his dinner invitation?.. kinda like b and s in gg [they share everything! so weird]. this kinda chats are quite novel to me-- i wasn't brought up to divulge personal information, even to family. i think it's good, though. i always know what to do instinctively, no need to summon a meeting and discussion everytime something comes up.

still.. i heart my family.. heh only because i'm too far away to fight with them! nah.. even when i was with them, sometimes i'll feel a rush of affection for them [usually coincides with the purchase of fabulous new clothes / phone / car?].. ana i really love them lah. wow! sounds gross.


was chatting with sonak just now.. realized i've been heaps calmer since my return from perth-- i haven't been to a club, spent excessively or did anything stupid since. can i be growing up?!

Monday, 24 August 2009

unveil the superstar

i bought this on impulse in springvale last saturday. it's useless regarding tips on how to beautify oneself, except the confession that female celebrities remain svelte by always being hungry, no shortcuts. i didn't start skipping meals, but i felt better in a sadistic sort of way.

this book is quite entertaining and eye-opening. it talks about non-invasive plastic surgery, like hyaluronic acid which gave hyori her nose--

omo so tempted!

and botox. barbie shared a funny [wow, looks like i'm in a mean mood tonight] story about a male actor who botox-ed his brow area, egging his doctor to increase the quantity injected.. so much that he had permanently slightly raised brows and the worst bit is that his forehead was so rigid, he was unable to fully close his eyelids for 4 months! even when he was sleeping! wow. ouch.

argh back to tuts and assignments now. i don't care about my clutch anymore-- i just want to have all my assignments done on time!

Sunday, 23 August 2009


serena's white party dress

i know, season 3 is probably complete, and i'm still in the first stages of hearting this season 2 look. i was in a semi-dilemma whilst out shopping with sue han and diane yesterday over what to wear for the ball on friday.

my silver dress has been worn to death. i'm wearing it in half of my facebook albums. plus it looks jakun.

i love my new black backless [!] dress but it's transparent. i don't wanna end up with photos like my grad prom-- not that i'm intending to snap much shots. i don't want fat records of myself. and, everybody will be clad in black. boring.

but i was thinking, if i wear my black dress, i won't have to buy new heels. black dress + silver heels + black beaded evening bag.. but then i also won't be able to wear my new turquoise jangly earrings.

if i wear my silver dress, i'll need new heels, which i can get in teal to match my earrings. but a black bag?

then i stumbled upon a white chiffon sequin trim dress, which reminded me of the white party. it's a tad pricey at $29, but i'll be able to wear my old heels. white goes well with turquoise, too. diane went, shoes are more expensive than dresses, it's better to buy a new dress to match your old shoes.

now i just need a teal clutch.

Friday, 21 August 2009

le petit prince.. and the old lady

my all-time fave book. when beth mentioned it in adam, i suddenly missed my beautiful 60th anniversary collectors' edition.. tucked somewhere in my parents' room. when i left malaysia i didn't think i'd need any sentimental knick-knacks with me-- soft toys, cherished books-- but evidently i do.

thanks to bernice, i have a bunny to keep me company at night, and i'd bought a secondhand copy of french.

the old lady

at the train station, after adam, we met an outspoken old lady. being jakun asians, i was helping sue han snap photos with the semi-artwork [because they look too dilapidated to be classified as 100% art], when the old lady called out to us. she'd thought we were leaving our groceries as we were hidden from view.

after that, she began making conversation. whenever i speak to mature-age aussies, they always ask the same question-- will i be applying for pr? to which i always answer 'no', not because i don't intend to, but because i didn't want to intimidate them. everybody is saying, australia is the new asia. black hair everywhere.. and half the blondes are bottle.

however, this old lady encouraged us to stay. she prompted us to speak up like aussies-- most malaysians auto-mute in the presence of foreigners. i don't understand-- why would she want more of us here? australia is already being flooded with asians. personally, i would be super-pissed if i was australian.. i suppose the way i view the world is so fixed, i find it difficult to see it from another point of view.

she gave us some sage advice, though. i'd like her if i could confirm that she is sane. [i know it sounds b*tchy but i've talked to some mental / tipsy / tipsy people before.] i can't tell anything until they start repeating questions.. then i know they're a bit off.

Thursday, 20 August 2009


mex was giving out free tickets, so i went with sue han and diane. i had been pleased to see that it is a modern film, and a winning one at that. but i couldn't fully comprehend it. how do people fall and stay in love?

can a person with aspie experience love? when even non-afflicted people find it difficult? i don't understand how love works-- the mind accepts the theories, but something else just feels wrong. aspie aside, can we ordinary beings separate love from need? lust? adam couldn't.. and i suspect most of us can't, either. we're just better at hiding it.

when adam spoke of stars moving away from each other at the negative speed of light, i couldn't help feeling he was talking about us-- harried humans. most of the times i feel very detached from the people around me. i've read that heaps of people feel the same, but that doesn't help me feel closer to anybody.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009


read about aunt penny's birthday.. rather lovely, especially when compared to dad's.

received a long email from him just now-- long by dad's standards, anyway-- and he said mum had overlooked his birthday. haiz. HOW CAN THEY?! what is fann doing?! dad seems a bit bummed, and i guess he has to shoulder a lot, despite his age.

i hope they'll find a new maid soon, and fann will quit getting into tiffs with mum, which is an uber challenge, but a girl can dream.


couldn't help unloading on diane just now, and she was shocked, 'what's wrong with your family?!'

i dunno, but at least i can blame my weirdness on something. went grocery shopping alone yesterday and bumped into alex and wz on the way. i didn't know it was odd to walk to town alone, but apparently it is.

Sunday, 16 August 2009

girls who cry

a couple of fridays ago, i celebrated eugene's birthday with a dinner in the city with his friends.

the nanosecond i stepped into his apartment, i knew something was wrong-- yuki had mascara streaks on her face and her eyes and nose were raw-pink and puffy. eugene was being unusually gentle. argh i hate the awkwardness of being in the midst of a couple in a fight.

after eugene left to shower, yuki broke the silence by telling me about the reason behind their argument. i couldn't help smiling when i heard it, which proves what a weirdo i am. the gist of it is that yuki was planning to surprise eugene by knitting him a scarf and baking him a birthday cake and eugene had ruined it.

yuki had told eugene to call her before he dropped by the star cafe where she worked and eugene had simply barged inside and expressed impatience whilst yuki floundered around trying to hide the scarf. eugene had been impatient and annoyed when yuki appeared unhappy, but that was only because he had bought yuki a new camera and couldn't wait to surprise her.

wow. they seem to have stepped right from the set of a korean soap opera. anyway i was very amused by yuki's tears and told kent that it was such a cute thing to cry over. i guess it's easy to keep things in perspective when i'm unaffected by feelings.

it will be a different story when i'm the one knitting. not that i ever will. after that little episode, we enjoyed a lovely dinner at a fancy chinese restaurant.

even the table settings are posh.

as you can see, my brother and i are genetically inclined to snap photos of scraps >.<
eugene and yuki, who flew to sydney last weekend for a ms. chinese beauty peageant.

a chef carving the house specialty-- peking duck-- beside our table. yum!

the other birthday boy's fave dish-- chinese cabbage stewed with milk. he couldn't wipe the grin from his face when he saw this.

fried prawns. mm great now i have craving for chinese food.

the birthday boys with yuki's cake =)

my slice of heaven heh.

my friends outside from monash are usually in their late 20s, which is considered old to a new 二十歳 like me. when i meet new people, i just automatically assume they are also はたち


yesterday i went skiing with the ultra outdoors club. i'm not atletic at all and can only excel in sports that require no equipment or teamwork. running, swimming [though i have nil technique] and hiking comes to mind. i hate dragging people down, which is why i stay away from tennis, badminton, ping pong, basketball etc.

thanks to boys over flowers, the korean version of meteor shower, i was kinda anticipating this ski trip.

ok this is some crap shot i googled. but everything looked so fun!

and i'd never seen snow. and i'd spent $170 on this trip. so i decided to try to enjoy it even if it was that time of the month.

it was pure torture, from waking up at 2am to board the bus at 3am.. to squeezing my legs into the stiff boots that made me walk with bent knees permanently.. to lugging the 1000tonne ski equipment.. to winding up the mountain-- i came prepared with sweet plums.. slipping around the snow..

i nearly fell to my death while struggling up a flight of stairs and a dude came to help me.

'wow,' rach marvelled. 'prince charming..'

rolling my eyes, i pointed at the back of the guy's jacket, where GUEST SERVICES was emblazoned.

i managed to fit into my skis and entered another new phase of agony-- sliding backwards. as much as i attempted to stop this indignity by stabbing my poles into the stupid snow and clinging to them for dear life, i continued gostan-ing and bumping into people.

shit. as if that isn't enough, i managed to slide and fall facedown into a pile of snow the nanosecond i disembarked the chair ski lift. damn damn damn. i couldn't get up and after some useless flailing around, another guest services guy came to drag me up.

the class was helpful, but after a few more falls, crashing into trees [the horror] and people [sorry] and writhing around in the slushy snow to unlock my ski boots, yet again, i'd had enough.
irl, skiing isn't a bloody korean piece of rice cake.

however, despite not skiing, i still managed to be late for the return trip. sue han, one of my sister-level friends at res, was the only one later than me, and she was so upset about the entire ordeal she cried all the way down to the resort to return our equipment.

sitting beside her on the bus, i couldn't find the right words to say. it felt just as bad as skiing. how do people in real life comfort crying people? i haven't had anybody cry in my presence since.. a couple of years ago? 3 years ago, probably.

i considered referring to soaps but it seems such a ridiculous notion.

hmm just realized it's rare to have girls comfort other girls in soaps-- it's always guys, even if they resemble girls.

i dunno who this dude is but he's one of the most amazing pieces of successful plastic surgery. ever. omo if i ever had anybody so handsome be nice to me i'll never be sad for the rest of my life.

she's pretty, too. like she just rolled out from a manga. or just exited the plastic surgeon's.

in the end i tried to recall as much as i can about how to stem the tears. erm.. the last time i cried in front of people was 3 years ago. they freaked out and just held me. it was difficult and possibly scary to suddenly lunge on sue han and squeeze her so i flitted to the next option.

my ex bestie used to tell bad jokes to cheer me up. it didn't seem appropriate. next.

in the end i was imagined i was in a soap myself and lengthened my usual 'stop crying, there's nothing to cry about.' to include some gentle words. i despise the feeling of being unable to help!

Wednesday, 5 August 2009


太阳晒的我 眼睛睁不开

下雨下的 我 眼神发呆
听着听着 我都快要笑出来


曾经 有人这样唱过

有时候我会 感觉非常累
有时候也会 不知觉把你拖累
你有时会说 我们不配
真的真的 我什么都无所谓

钢琴也是 黑白键