today is one of the worst days of my life. the only things comparable are similar events in high school and monash malaysia, having my heart broken and hearing ahma had to undergo surgery.
the saddest part is i'm not exaggerating.
my period, which, at best, comes around every 3 weeks, was late. on paper it was a perfect cycle, and xian and eunice would have been happy for me-- they're forever commenting that at the rate i'm going, i'll be unable to have babies.
but yesterday i cramped so bad during my jog, i took forever to return home. shaz's tip is to just sit on the ground instead of squatting, which i did at intervals. it's scary when the pain won't subside and home seems far away and you don't have a phone on you.
i thought it couldn't get worse, but it was so bad today. nothing helped-- warm water, a warm wheat bag. i'm a bit fuzzy now from all the pain-killers i swallowed and all the hours in bed. the pain was so intense, and crying and moaning don't lessen it. horrible, horrible, horrible.
i remember crying at the student center in high school, pleading for pain-killers, which the school claimed they stopped selling as it is bad for health. and sitting on the toilet floor at uni in malaysia because i couldn't move. this was worse than those.
i never NEVER want to feel that pain again. i'll buy prescription strength pain-killers next time i'm out and pop them at the first twinge of discomfort in my back. i don't care if i destroy my immune system. i'd rather die than go through that hell again. this must be what hell feels like.