Sunday, 20 September 2009

talking with my family

what a sleep-inducing blog title. but it meant so much to me. it's been 2 days and i'm still smiling over the 2-hour conversation, though 1 hour consisted of fann cursing as he struggled with his blog layout.

feeling a bit homesick lately. it's odd, for i never got full-blown homesickness. there has been times i'd tossed and turned at night because i wanted to hold coco so bad, but not enough to make the thought of returning appealing.

it felt very comforting and familiar to have fann call my chinese name in his distinct style. and hear dad crack jokes about my weight. i refused to switch on my webcam as i didn't want my family to all collapse from a heart attack from my weight gain. my mum can't even recognize me with a tan, much less with additional kgs on me.

dad had to ask, 'what do you look like now?'

'fat,' i replied flatly.

'haha,' cue dad's joke about how i resembled a ball when i was a baby and he never knew how to hold me as i was too round for him to get a grip on me.


mum took almost 2 hours to get her ass to the laptop. she has this annoying habit of making us online then not talking to us. however, i persevered and got the opportunity to hear her nag.

our family loves blunt questions, it's embedded in our dna--

eg. 1

me, looking at photos of fann's 'advanced' friends on his blog, suddenly worried for my bro's integrity, blurted out, 'eh, are you still a virgin?'


eg. 2

'is anybody chasing you?' mum.

'nope,' sheepishly.

'too fat?'


mum may appear to be a negative influence but what she says is true. i'm addicted to saying, 'my mum says..'


'are you working?'

'nope,' mentally kicked myself for not seeking a job in the city.


'nobody's hiring me,' well, at least not in this suburb and the next.

'well, our neighbor's daughter is working 2 days a week in sydney.'

that was all it took. i couldn't sleep until 2am, and i was up at 7am to get ready to go job-hunting in the city.

job-seeking can be very de-motivating. plus i can understand why thin girls are favored-- the restaurants are so crowded, it can be difficult to maneuver around if you're fat. and shops are packed to the max with v. breakable items.

tomorrow will be better =)

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