Tuesday, 1 December 2009

countdown to full blown panic attack

weighed self this morning. very heavy. heaviest point in bloody life, in fact.

add that to the fact that eugene's family is visiting in a fortnight. eunice had always found my obsession with food (or concentrating on not eating them) a bit crazy. har har, this is what happens when you're happy enough to quit counting calories. my fatness will stun them.

plus, kena pecat by one of my bosses this morning. *sigh* at least i saw that coming. everybody had been edgy for the past few months due to the reduced customer flow. being the least inexperienced, quietest and most possible to take off during exams has disadvantages :( well, on the bright side, i won't be scalding my fingers for meager pay.


spent yesterday having a blast at home, watching movies and reading. a bit duh, actually. i should be out playing, but hearing the wind is enough to keep me indoors.

i'd finished reading how to be good, ending was a bit blah for me. probably need to be older and wiser to appreciate it more. finished midnight sun as well. now reading the bell jar.

watched into the wild yesterday. just wanted to see kristen stewart and she didn't disappoint-- all long skinny limbs and prettiness. couldn't relate to chris at all. i love money and prestige. plus he shouldn't have burnt his cash, should have donated it to charity or something. but really admired the way he survived. well, until he died, of course.

tempted to lace up my nikes and just go, go, go like chris. but knew it wasn't feasible for me. i'd die without sunscreen. plus i can't sleep in the cold. times have changed since chris became supertramp-- i might well be kidnapped or worse. still, this bud of an idea shall be filed away in a mental drawer until the day comes when i feel crazy enough to try it.

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