Wednesday, 17 March 2010

why i hate sports

am supposed to be researching my Malaysian Studies assignment (due next week!) but feel too hungry and grumpy to do anything more productive than watching Friends and blogging (my speak for b*tching).

heh spent this morning begging Mr. Cheong to take me in his Malaysian Studies class then spent the first half of the lecture pondering where and what I should tattoo. I want a lacy kismet on my back.. will it hurt too much?

slept through first half of AIS lecture as well.. what is wrong with me?! the worst part is i didn't even realize i had dozed off until i woke up. hopefully parents will make an appointment with Dr. Khoo soon, must blow them.

jogged leisurely today and played at the new workout station in the neighborhood :) however, exercise makes me ravenous! I can get by on little food but once I exercise I just feel bloody starved! still, am marching steadily towards mum's ideal weight for me so I can indulge when/if we go to HK in April.

All the packing and moving I'd done has somewhat curbed my shopaholic streak. I used to buy clothes all the time but now the thought of having to take them with me should I go anywhere is a strong enough deterrent to leave them on the racks.


had lunch with Tai last Sunday :) had Chinese street food at Lot 10, followed by a spot of shopping for boring guy tech stuff at Low Yat. Then we jammed all the way to Bangsar for Banoffee pie *licks lips*

mum adores it when we hang out with our intellectual cousins. plus Tai treated us to the cakes, which will make mum love him even more ;p it's so easy to buy mum's heart sometimes.

Sunday, 14 March 2010

remember her?

R-Pattz's Remember Me should be in cinemas now. Yet another movie to add to my To-Watch list, after Valentine Day, Nine and the overrated Alice in Wonderland.

Anyway, remember the Neighbor's Daughter who 'inspired' me to work my ass off in 2 jobs last September? Well, guess what? She has a boyfriend now. Duh.

So I had to endure lectures about how skinny chicks find wealthy/smart/nice boyfriends easier and how I should be dieting. I f*cking am dieting! I only get a handful of nuts for dinner. Then it's how the way I walk is a turn-off. My gait is something I'd tried to adjust but I have to admit it's difficult. According to the 'professor', the way I walk reflects my incredibly lazy nature. WTF?! What's that all about?!

Criticize, criticize, criticize. Just leave me alone! How am I supposed to find a boyfriend if I don't go out and socialize? The initial agreement was that I can go out during weekends but every time an event comes up I have to endure their 'face color'. My friends have nightly 2am curfews. The only balm to counter being treated like a child but expecting me to act like an adult is more pocket money. Am researching how much my peers are getting. Will ask for more.

Plus relationships don't just happen because you're hot. It's not my fault I find it difficult to like people on that level. I can't imagine ever bringing anybody home. Either it's ''are you doing it to piss mum off?'' if he's poor or ''gain some weight and he'll be off'' if he fits their criteria. Poor boyfriend, my parents will eat you alive.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

new keyboard protector

This morning, curled up snugly in Audrey's fantastically warm sleeping bag, the realization that I'll be bidding goodbye to my life now within 24hours hit me [like a bullet train going full speed]. I couldn't sleep anymore and have been sleepwalking and 'taking care of matters' like a robot.

Been so busy running around selling everything but myself for the past few days that I haven't really thought about what's waiting for me once the enjoyable MAS flight ends. I thrive on sudden changes, so the kick this major decision brought was intense, like a drug.

But once the rush wears off, reality awaits-- curfews, feeling frustrated because I don't know who my parents want me to be, people losing interest in me once they realize I'm not Korean/Japanese/Taiwanese/Chinese/Australian/American/Canadian.

Well, at least I splurged on a farewell gift for myself. That should ease the ache. Plus I can get a new keyboard protector-- this one's a tad sticky and dusty. And attend Jiun's 21st birthday bash.

Saturday, 6 March 2010

the other side of the story

Harry couldn't believe his ears when i told him I'll be returning next Wednesday. He said he's gonna blog about his disbelief (duh) and i thought I'd do so, too.

Now that a decision has been made, I feel better. I'd feel even better if I were in Malaysia now. I hate transition periods. I prefer doing to waiting, though I'm selling my stuff now, I can't wait for Monday to come so I can go to do whatever admin sh*t I need to do.

It's scary living with the 'rents after a year of living by my own rules. Ugh is the word to describe it. After a year of dish-washing my way, chucking undies into the machine, staying out late and flying interstate when I'm depressed. Now it's back to nag-nag-nag, curfew, twice-daily reminders to get skinny and a heart attack every time I walk out with my LV.

But life never goes our way. If I had my way, I would have done high school at Methodist, college at Taylors and spent a year in USA as an au pair before starting uni. All we can do is have faith that there is somebody up there looking out for us, and everything happens for a reason.

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

spinning around

since finance called this morning, i've been rehashing my original dilemma-- the should-i-chuck-this-and-return dilemma. it made me physically sick in my stomach when finance told me i had about $30k due. wtf! my parents' lifetime of hard work, frittered away by their not-very-smart daughter who doesn't even like what she's studying.

carrie bradshaw once said, '' i like my money where i can see them-- hanging in my closet. ''

but i can't see my parents' money going anywhere worthwhile. i can complete an identical degree in msia way cheaper. my mum always says, '' this is your education money. once it's gone, it's gone. it could be used to buy a house, but now it's being spent on you, so make sure you study hard.''

at least a house is material-- it's there. i can see it, feel it. but my education? seriously.. am i making sense? i'm worried that if dad agrees and i do return, i may end up getting stuck there for the rest of my life. but if i graduate here and can't get pr, i'll be stuck in the sh*thole with $30k less.

i don't know what to think.