Thursday, 29 April 2010

mothers' day & gifts


''oh my god! mo-om!!'' i'd shrieked at 9.40am this morning.

''oh my god, you know! i asked sokchea not to tell you!'' mum in a rare moment of being flustered.

what could it be, one may wonder?

the answer *drumrolls, please*-- 15 tins of julie's assorted biscuits!!

she'd sneakily bought them a couple of nights ago and hidden them in some hardly-touched cupboards. then she ordered our family maid not to breathe a word of the biscuits' existence to us, but she let slip something this morning.

i'd left the breakfast table immediately, marched to The Cupboard and flung it open. then i'd screamed.

i'm not going to nag her about her compulsive food shopping habits, that's her mothers' day gift.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

modern medusa

i-touch, check. gross greasy scalp, check. wanting to kill gross greasy scalp, check.

today in one of my classes i had the misfortune of picking a seat behind a dude with oily hair who obviously do not have the habit of taking morning showers.

argh! it drove me crazy! every time i leaned forward to read my textbook i should smell this 2-day-old human odor. eww!

i sympathize with people with bo but this is unforgivable! i don't smell like roses, lavender, mango, sugar cane and vera wang princess naturally, but i put in a lot of effort to ensure i don't give off my natural aroma of sweat.

in the end i gave up and went outside the audi to play solitaire on my i-touch.

Thursday, 22 April 2010

earth day

yesterday mr. cheong told us of his personal experience of witnessing human meat hawkers in zimbabwe.

avoid this scary place!

he actually witnessed arms, legs, breasts & kidneys dangling from hooks. ugh! gross! unbelievable!

;;;;;

today is earth day so am sweating buckets instead of switching on air con.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

phoebe

addicted to friends, and as much as i heart rachel's silky straight hair in season 3, my fave character is phoebe. her kookiness reminds me of myself as a kid.

my mum had a lousy temper, and i'd get battered up over the teeniest incidents, like late returns to the libraries-- even when there was no penalty charges. i'm always getting saved by random people like my piano teacher and a sweet prefect who rescued me after my mum slapped me so hard in the school toilet my tooth fell out, way back in primary 1. (i'm really grateful to the prefect, hope she's doing ok in life.)

anyway i'd go to school with bruises and welts all over, and once i had a spectacular design on my thighs, dots of black and blue all over. i'd just finished a disney story, and i'd proudly lifted my skirt and announced to my friends, ''look! i'm a dalmation!''

now i know that's child abuse, but it's too late to sue, and i think everybody got beat up then. but seriously, dalmatians?! i amaze myself sometimes.

Friday, 16 April 2010

in 20 years

somebody asked me if i can visualize myself in 20 years' time and my first thought was, i'm not even sure if i'll still be alive in 20 years!


i don't know why but the thought just popped into my head.

;;;;;

had a nice day in today. did despicable ais assignment, studied for managerial communications test tomorrow and lunched with dad and fann. bak kut teh where i barely touched the meat. but it was enough to make my zit sting.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

lunch with dad

yesterday dad suggested taking fann and i out to lunch.

since my family doesn't eat at home, eating out wasn't a biggie, but it's rare to dine sans mum.

dad is really similar to mum in the sense that he kept asking us, ''where do y'all wanna eat?''

''whatever,'' fann and i chanted (over and over again).

''c'mon, you can have whatever you want,'' dad tried again. haha i would be so excited if i were still in primary school.

''er.. sushi?'' i played along.

''now why would you want to eat sushi?'' dad went. zomg for a second there it's like mum's soul is hidden in his body.

''i said whatever, dad.''

in the end we settled for chinese food.

the car ride to the restaurant-- it's not really a restaurant, more like a shack-- was uber quiet. usually mum would be f-ing somebody on the car and the rest of us would be praying for her to stfu, but the silence was a bit unnerving.

during the wait for the meal, dad went, ''ok, so talk to me about something.. like what's the coolest thing on the net right now?''

hmm.. we managed to get a convo going, where i did most of the talking. fann morphs into a mute zombie in front of our parents. when we're alone i can't get him to zip it. dad is also critical, just not as critical as mum. i guess mum talks faster, so dad never gets around to f-ing us.

anyhow dad, being a funny geek and all, has taken to calling fann ''so''. i was like, wth?? when i first heard it. but here's his explanation:

oh, you call fann ''bro'', short for ''brother'', so i call him ''so'', short for ''son''

*pengsan* now you all know where i get my sense of humor from

Monday, 5 April 2010

under my skin

this is another one of my is-this-normal? post..

talked to my friend on the phone for an hour on thu night-- more like complaining. whined about my family, blah blah blah. felt kinda relieved after the purge but as always, felt a (hopefully) irrational fear that i'd somehow sold my soul to the devil or something.

is it a mum thing (i have an effing serious mother complex) or an asian culture thing? we don't air our dirty laundry in public. we try not to talk about anything of importance. i try to keep my big mouth shut but sometimes i can't help spilling.

every time i talk to a friend about my troubles, like all the magazines always advised, i feel as if i'd given her a bit of my soul, making him/her stronger and me weaker. it's a scary feeling. hehe typing this makes it appear as though i'm over-analyzing stuff, which i probably am.

sometimes when i hear people say how they went to so-and-so when they were in tears, i feel shocked. but it's a blessing to find somebody you can go to when you're crying, whether from rage or profound sadness. hopefully i've found a friend like that.. only time will tell :)

Friday, 2 April 2010

bob

since when was being single at 21 a modern sin? fml!!

kena f by mum 24/7 since my return just because i don't have a boyfriend. fml!!

i lashed back by lopping off my long hair into a bob. i wanted to shave my head but even fann said that's too extreme. i know mum has always wanted me to have long hair because 70% of males prefer long-haired chicks from some odd rapunzel complex.

so now everything i do is so i can find a good boyfriend. wtf?! fml!!

i have to do well in uni because guys like smart chicks. i have to get skinny because guys prefer thin girls. i have to 'potray myself as being very able to look after people because guys like to be looked after instead of the other way around'. blah blah blah

;;;;;

it feels great to have short hair now (even if i'm a long hair type of girl) though i'm paying the mental price for it now-- this morning:

mum: i told u not to cut your hair. your hair is one of the rare parts of u which looks ok.

me: it was damaged beyond repair. it hurts to brush it.

mum: do u look prettier with short hair? if you're so pretty, why is nobody chasing you?

;;;;;

last time when people bought me flowers:

mum & dad: yer, these boys simply waste money, not boyfriend material.

mum: why they chase u? what do they see in u?

wtf?! fml. i m so effing mad!!