Friday, 17 September 2010

if it's love..

a few days ago fann popped into my room, flopped onto my bed and said his coupled up friends were having a hard time staying together. ''no sparks, they say,'' he'd rolled his eyes. ''everybody knows that doesn't last forever.''

wow. my baby bro is actually quite mature! sometimes my friends ask me why my cute, eligible bro isn't fooling around with girls.. i always say he's looking for something more than [for lack of a more suitable phrase] a quick fuck. i've seen him in love and the word 'serious' comes to mind. i still hate that bitch for messing with him. slut! [yeah it's so unfair she's so pretty].

we chatted about love for a bit.. he said something i'm an advocate of-- being friends before you begin dating. so when the ripping-clothes-off-each-other stage passes, you have something to fall back on. but then i wonder, how would we differentiate between love and friendship then? i'd never managed to figure it out and always ended up calling off the relationship even when i still wanted to do the clothes-ripping. haha.

i used to think love was just hormones, glorified. but some people say it's possible to fall more and more in love everyday. some say love is provision for the family-- the glow fades, so marry rich so you'll at least have a safe, comfortable life. some say love fades but the companionship is what sustains couples.

it is times like these when i wish i could age faster so i can find the answers to my questions!

Thursday, 16 September 2010

vent

today was the day from hell. woke this morn and was already feeling foul when i saw my breakfast of sweet potato leaves cooked in water with a drop of olive oil. was leaving when mum called me back to the patio where we dine.

'yes?' i asked a couple of times. she looked at me, ignored me, then turned to yell something to fann. what the FUCK?! is she kidding me?! i totally lost it and we started fighting aka she screamed at me. jesus i'm getting a headache just typing this.

thankfully, was saved by the bell but then she decided she wanted to tumpang our car to subang. she screamed in the car all through the half hour journey you'd think fann and i were fucking her or similar. seriously i was super fucked up when i finally tumbled out of the car at monash. couldn't do much except lie on a bench in the shade and plug my earphones into my ears.

walau eh can't take this shit much longer. i fucking want to kill myself every time she starts.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

the boyfriend checklist

you know sometimes boy meets girl, boy texts/calls/facebooks girl, boy dates girl, boy is funny and girl is so busy laughing she forgets her LIST! then bad things happen. this is my just-in-case list.


  1. must be able to speak mandarin! preferably first language! best is fluent in english too so i can switch around during conversations.
  2. must know how to open durians.
  3. must be non smoker.
  4. must not be stingy!!
  5. must have car.
  6. must be able to stay calm when he sees my four-poster bed and not let me know he's fantasizing.
  7. preferably taller than my brother. not asking for a lot, he's only 179cm!! it's not like he has to be cuter, just taller!
  8. it helps if he's more handsome or richer than my father.. but i think i'm pushing my luck here.
  9. must have better sense of direction than me!
  10. must win my parents' hearts. 
m sick :(

Sunday, 5 September 2010

now i hate my mum. bitch!

went to ck's birthday party last night anyway. if i can't rest for 10 seconds without having to get up to run an errand i may as well dress up, go out play and meet new people and/or drown my sorrows in vodka.

it was fun though i wasn't close to anybody going, even the host. we got lost on the way to seremban but the extra time gave us time to talk crap and kid around in the car.

when we finally did reach [lesson learnt: gps can never replace human instructions], it was good to see all the 'au bunch' :) we ate [sadly, the lok lok car didn't have my fave si-ham, so i didn't touch it at all], then progressed to playing drinking games in ck's room.

at 12am fann called telling me i have to fetch eugene and yuki to the airport tomorrow. wtf?! so last minute! i rode in my friend's car and the estimated return time is 5am! what s wrong with her?! seriously i've been running enough last second errands for her! what kind of full-time housewife can't even keep track of her one maid's medical checkup deadline?! what is wrong with her?!

anyway our limits during the game were non-existent. haha learned some juicy stuff. and realized there are a lot of virgins in the world. wild.

we finally left at 5am. bryan wanted to yam cha so we stopped at a mamak in kajang where the muslims were having their pre-fast breakfast. i was so sleepy i managed to choke on my maggi goreng. where i found the genki-ness to drive home is beyond me. i remember nearly crashing and praying a lot.

ish talked to dad just now. he's so calm that i can't even be bothered to be annoyed at mum anymore. minimum interaction = maximum happiness all round.

Saturday, 4 September 2010

i hate being a girl

worst cramps of my LIFE this morning. was crying throughout until the drugs i OD-ed on kicked in and i fell asleep. overheard mum saying marriage eases the pain. = virginity is the cause of all this crazy, intense, indescribable pain.

no one ever told me that! 'just smile and take deep breaths'?! does mum think we're cartoon characters or what shit?! stupid virginity is overrated. if i'd known it'd help i would've been whoring it up with tall aussie hockey players with blond curls and blue eyes.

i'm desperate enough to try anything. maybe start with the Pill. i wish i were slutty. i despise being a 21-year-old virgin!!! with effing killer cramps!! i have a party to attend tonight! there will be buffet, booze, karaoke and lok lok and i'm fucking stuck home. after doing my nails yesterday! ooh the fuckness of it all just drives me up the wall!

some more mum had the fucking nerve to call and ask me to run an errand for her just now. i don't hate you all enough to curse death upon you but i'm so close. fml

bruce willis is really handsome in friends though.