on Friday mum went to Isetan bright and early because she wanted to take advantage of the 20th anniversary sales. she bought 4 bottles of choya, endless packets of decadent keebler's chocolate cookies, 4 boxes of strawberries, 4 boxes of green tea [nobody in my family drinks tea and we have a drawer filled with tea bags and there are loose-leaf teas in our freezers and fridges], 2 boxes of grapes, 2 cartons of Japanese plain crackers, a packet of Korean seaweed, endless packets of oats, 3 bottles of organic grape juice, a box of nigiri sushi and 2 cartons of asahi dry.
Friday evening she enlisted the help of Fann and i so we can aid her in her battle with all the other crazy shoppers to grab as many boxes of mushrooms / ginseng tea / olive oil as possible the next day.
on Saturday mum led Fann, Sokchea the maid and i to Isetan bright and early because she was gonna buy all those stuff she didn't need that she didn't manage to buy on Friday. however halfway there she remembered her road tax had expired so we turned back home to swap cars. when we finally reached Isetan all the stuff she didn't need had been sold out so she was annoyed and went around complaining to all the other shoppers until a lady pointed out a deserted box of ginseng tea at the cashier.
once she placed the first box in the empty trolley just begging to be filled with useless crap, she was on a roll. all the nonsense that has never appeared on her shopping list and will never appear went into the trolley-- more packets of cookies [and she asks why i'm fat?!], packets of wafers and packets of seaweed. after swiping her card she took out a handful of cash vouchers, rm 120 in total [meaning she spent rm1 200 on Friday] with almost malicious glee and said, 'oops, i forgot i had these in my bag! we must buy more to use them up!'
so we bought 2 big boxes of chocolate Hello Pandas, 6 boxes of sushi, more seaweed, tins of instant food, Japanese sweets, imported crackers and a packet of ridiculously overpriced Cadbury Rich Tea biscuits [rm16]. i feel dizzy just typing this.
and then we lined up to buy 6 strawberry swiss rolls from sun moulin.
when she saw a lady with 6 boxes of tea she attempted to cheat the lady into giving up some of the tea by claiming there's a maximum for each customer, so why don't she give some of the tea to mum?
sunday is the day of rest, but no! mum woke Fann and i even earlier today so we can go to Isetan bright and early to buy all those crap that we naively thought would never take up residence at home. this time she succeeded and Fann and i failed. we were 3rd in line outside the closed doors of Isetan food market, mum kept fidgeting and changing her mind about her Strategy to Waste Dad's Hard Earned Money.
'ok, we'll all go to the mushroom counter first.. no, Fann, u go grab as many boxes of tea as possible, at least 40-'
'i need tea!'
'but nobody in our family drinks tea!' i interjected.
'well, i need to give them to your aunts!'
'do we have 40 aunts?'
'well, no, but i can also give them to my friends!'
'what about all those tea we have at home and those u bought on Friday?!'
'but it's so cheap!' she was working herself up into a near-frenzy now.
'we don't need it.'
'it's my money!'
'is it? i'm gonna call dad and tell him.'
'no! alright, just take 30, but u'll regret this.. anyway, Sokchea, u go take the oil; min, u follow me.. grab baskets! Fann and Sokchea, u 2 take trolleys!'
she sprinted into the supermarket the nanosecond we were given the go-ahead. oh sweet Lord! save me from this madness!
we spent rm1k on mushrooms [she doesn't cook], olive oil [ditto], 40 boxes of tea [everytime i think about it my heart spasms] and some ramen.
people kept asking her, 'is the tea good?' when they see our trolley stacked with boxes of tea and then kept raising their brows as mum sheepishly admitted that she hasn't tried it. i take this as my cue to smile and recite, 'Kunyang is a good Korean brand, why don't u try one?' and offering the shoppers a box.
then we continued to klcc where she bought clothes which she'll fit into after she loses weight.
'it's ok even if i don't, because these pants only costs rm35 each,' she says happily. she bought 4. and 2 cheesecakes, which i don't mind because i adore cheesecake.
she's so lucky she married dad who can indulge her crazy shopaholicism. when we arrived home and began unloading the car she attempted to block all the boxes of tea by standing in front of dad and engaging him in conversation but Fann and i ['traitors!' she hissed] marched up to dad and flashed him the gold boxes.
lucky dad exercises regularly and has a strong heart. she even had the nerve to exclaim gaily, 'i saved rm100 on each box of mushrooms i bought today! that's rm400 in total, kinda like making money! and u don't even have to work as hard!' warped