Wednesday, 14 December 2011

how to move to another country

one of the things that G can't grasp about me (apart from my highly complicated name) is my nationality vs. race.

"i'm a malaysian chinese," i say.

"what?!" 

"my nationality is malaysian, but i'm chinese instead of malay."

"what passport do you have?"

"malaysia."

"then you are a malaysian."

"yes."

peers at me-- "but you are chinese, and you speak chinese.. or is malaysia a part of china?" *epic. finally met someone whose geography is worse than mine.*

"no! it's like you-- you are an argentinian with a german passport."

dazed and confused look-- "whatever, but malaysia is still in asia."

"yes."

"but you must not stay there. you must move to europe. or america. or australia." (G really can't stand asia. his life is like gossip girl and he doesn't understand why we're not all sleeping around. or why we have school rules dictating the length of our hair-- i don't get that either. or why my dad's principle in life is, "life is not about doing what you want".)

"well, i'm trying, but it's not easy."

so G thought up some ideas--

OPTION 1

"you can work for your government in another country. you know, the place you go to when you lose your passport."

"the embassy."

"yes."

how do i explain that the percentage of chinese employed by our government is, like, 0?

"it's very difficult," i ventured instead.

"why? you just tell your government you want to work for them."

and i knew he would never ever grasp it, so i sighed and looked at the sea, and he moved on to

OPTION 2

"russia."

"what?!"

"you can enter europe through russia. half of it is in asia and the other half is in europe." (i think he got mixed up and thought that my passport doesn't allow me to travel to europe.)

"G, i can enter europe through europe. i can go anywhere with my passport, it's just tough to stay there for life, to get another passport."

hearing that i could go to europe, he suggested

OPTION 3

"okay, then go holiday in europe."

i rolled my eyes again. honestly, i thought my eyes were gonna drop out of my sockets from all the eye-rolling i did throughout this conversation.

"really! then find a guy and tell him you love him, and you can have your european passport!"

"hmm.." a lot of people see me as realistic but i truly cannot even imagine marrying someone just for a passport.

G must have sensed my doubt because he offered

OPTION 4

"you don't have to marry him, you just need to have a baby there."

"WHAT?!"

"well, of course. usually if you have a baby it gets a passport, and you as mother gets one too!"

(just in case anybody is considering OPTION 4, it doesn't work in australia. babies no longer become an automatic citizen.)

and then, thankfully, we reached green island.

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