Thursday, 13 March 2014

i love you, and i don't calculate

Recently, everybody has been crazy over.. well, MH370. Which still boggles my mind, actually. But before MH370, there was.. My Love from Another Star.


And after Star ended, my makeup TV (ie. TV I watch while putting on my face) of choice has been.. I Need Romance 3. So actually the first paragraph is merely a useless intro/to prove that I'm keeping up with Asian trends.

Having watched - and loved - I Need Romance (1) despite the awkward kissing scenes, I went on to watch I Need Romance 2 and now 3. I still prefer 1 but when Allen said, 'I love you, and I don't calculate.' in 3, it totally jumped out at me. 

I'm a calculator - I treat others almost exactly how they treat me. Which is great, works for me. But sometimes I think we can benefit from calculating a bit less.

During my trip home my mum told me something my dad had said during one of their arguments - of which there are many - and it had broke my heart. I don't think anybody will say something like that if he wasn't very, extremely unhappy to breaking point. I think my parents have a rocky marriage, and because mum calculates, she is unable to forget the first few years of marriage when everything was hell.

But if you asked me, do I think mum loves dad?

My answer would be yes, very much so.
 
To love someone is not enough, we have to prove it. I think I got this gem from Happier at Home. I used to think that just because I loved a person more than he loves me, I had to be a bit difficult (read: very, I am my mother's daughter after all) in order to make us equals. (Wow, if I had a quarter of this passion for calculations in Math class my life would be very different now.)

But nobody is the bug in your tummy, and nobody knows they are loved unless you demonstrate it. Not sure why it took me a book and half a K-drama to figure this out. This sounds so common sense now.

So if there is somebody you love, you should show it. Be nice. Be polite, even to family. Especially to family, whom we tend to take for granted. Don't calculate so much - who wins. No individual wins exist in genuine relationships, it's always win-win or lose-lose.

Love more, and calculate less.

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