Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Auburn Botanical Gardens


Friday, 16 May 2014

Romance Joe

好,姐完全被这个小清新海报骗了





电影里面多的是自杀的人,想自杀的人,自杀失败的人(笑)。

姐最近有点绝望,但你懂的,死这回事不是由人的。

像里面一个男人想自杀,拿刀片划了自己的 wrist ,血一滴滴地流下。。然后。。伤口结疤了,血止了。我看到这里疯狂大笑(该不会吓到身边的人)。

因为那个男人表情整个就是‘不会吧,那我又必须再次喝醉,再次挑战自杀!我的 wrist 好痛哦!哦妈呀!’

呀!色鸡鸭!(Hey! A******!) 你以为死这么容易哦?这么容易的话,人们何苦为生活挣扎?!

电影真的只能用 ‘韩国艺术 style ’ 来形容。意思就是看不懂!!!

看到最后我,Johnny 和 Raj 三个人超傻眼,心里 os:我们刚才2小时都在干嘛呀?

韩国艺术片简直就是韩剧的相反。韩剧都 saccharine sweet,韩国艺术片都。。不是暴力就是悲剧啊!

以前大家问我,what is your favorite Korean movie? 时,我都想不到。

你懂的,我很 jual mahal 的,要真的爱才可以用 ‘favorite’ 形容呀!

结果最近心血来潮将 Cyrano Agency 看了一遍,整个大爱!


Cyrano Agency 是由和我一样迷韩的表姐 Lyanna/Ashley 介绍的。只能说她们介绍的 2部电影在我心中都有特别的地位!(另一部是 Sunny)

第一次看的时候不怎么喜欢,但长大一点看,完全有感觉!

里面有个 scriptwriter 角色,特别讨厌 ad lib,看了后姐完全 apply 在面试上!现在自己准备一份 Word document,里面有面试 Q&A。姐决定以后去面试不 ad lib 了(完全中毒很深,以为自己在拍电影这样),而是背稿子!

现在稿子打得挺详细的,因为去 assessment centre 的反映是‘同学,你的答案太简短了。’

拜托,泡妞大师 Neil Strauss 学习泡妞时也是不 ad lib 的!人家也是背稿子在出去上战场的!我到底是为什么之前死都要 ad lib 啊?

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

unconditional

Dad just called me for a record 11.18minutes.

Asked me to take a holiday. Go home for awhile. See the family while I have time.
A change of scenery will be good, but I'm too ashamed to see anybody.

Whispered, 'Do you still have money?'
Yeah, I'm still working. It's my pride that has taken the biggest hit.

Told me not to lose confidence.
Too late, but I'll try.

'There's nothing to worry about.'

'This will all turn out for the best.'
I'm not sure how me being unable to land a proper job after doing postgraduate studies can be part of turning out for the best, but he must have really wanted to cheer me up.

'You don't have to stay in Australia.. '
Very seriously thinking about this part..

When I told him I failed my Assessment Centre I could hear his disappointment, but he quickly covered it and said it was OK. Never mind. It's really competitive, he understands. 'More competitive than China!'
Even China is coming out! Of course it wasn't okay. And nothing is ever as cutthroat as China. I killed 3,589 other candidates to get to the final round, and I couldn't even kill the last 11?
After he hung up I couldn't help bawling.

Because I don't know how he can still be so nice to me. He had already put me through graduate school and given me seed money when I returned to Sydney to find work. And what do I have to show for his investment? A big, fat (literally) nothing.

Are all parents so patient with their children? I don't think anybody has ever been so good to me, and probably nobody can ever be so good to me in the future. How can he stay so supportive? Even I am repulsed by my lack of ability and lack of progress in life. Even I hate myself. But a 60-year-old father is telling his 25-year-old daughter who had a very privileged life that everything is gonna be okay?! What is the world coming to?!

I really, really hope I can show dad some filial piety in this lifetime.

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

The Power of Negative Thinking

When the going gets tough and telling yourself there will be a better day, even for you, doesn't quite cut it anymore, go the other extreme and ask yourself questions like, ' Will it be more painful to hurl self in front of incoming train, or will it be more painful to grit teeth and try again.. and again.. and fucking again until the fucking end of fucking infinity?'

So far throwing self in front of a moving train is still less appealing than living through quiet desperation.

But it would be nice if somebody up there can cut me some slack, pretty please. It would be nice not to feel like I'm on the brink of a panic attack every waking second, and some sleeping ones too. Would be nice to be able to call my family. Would be nice to tear less often, and only for silly reasons like movies.  Would be nice to hang out with friends freely.

Will just think about tomorrow. Not day after. I just have to survive tomorrow. Yeah if I think beyond 11.59pm tomorrow I may run screaming into the train tracks muahaha. I will think about Thursday tomorrow. I like Thursdays. It's Movie Day. And on Thursday I will think about Friday. That's not too bad.

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

epiphany: why women steal each other's boyfriends

When Dr Lim was a young girl, she sometimes met cute guys, who sometimes had girlfriends.

'I met a cute guy,' Dr Lim would tell her girlfriends.

'Ooh, is he single?' the girlfriends would ask.

'No,' Cue sobbing.

'Aww, too bad..' And they would go sing karaoke.

Ever since Dr Lim turned 23, this conversation had a different ending.

'I met a cute guy,' Dr Lim would tell her girlfriends.

'Ooh, is he single?' the girlfriends would ask.

'No,' Cue sobbing.

'Oh, you should try to snatch him away from her!' Dr Lim's (usually older) girlfriends would advise. And they would go sing karaoke.

Huh? What?

Finally, 2 years later, Dr Lim had an epiphany as to why it's preferable to steal another woman's boyfriend.

When you meet a cute, single, straight, normal guy, you're up against the 1,989,728 other beautiful, single, straight, sexy women with better jobs and cooking skills in Sydney city. Or, thanks to globalization, the entire fucking female population.

When you meet a cute, straight, nice guy who's taken, you just have to be more beautiful, sexier and basically better than.. his current girlfriend.

1,989,728 v. 1

Dr Lim presented her findings over dinner to Dr Lee and Dr Gao, and Dr Gao, also an expert in the field, further extrapolated on the idea, saying, 'But after you successfully steal the guy, you're back to Square 1. Namely, instead of You v. Girlfriend, you are now You v. Entire Female Population Who Might Steal Your Man Because They Don't Want to Compete With 1,989,728 Other Women For An Eligible Single Guy.'

There is no rest for the weary.