Wednesday, 7 May 2014

epiphany: why women steal each other's boyfriends

When Dr Lim was a young girl, she sometimes met cute guys, who sometimes had girlfriends.

'I met a cute guy,' Dr Lim would tell her girlfriends.

'Ooh, is he single?' the girlfriends would ask.

'No,' Cue sobbing.

'Aww, too bad..' And they would go sing karaoke.

Ever since Dr Lim turned 23, this conversation had a different ending.

'I met a cute guy,' Dr Lim would tell her girlfriends.

'Ooh, is he single?' the girlfriends would ask.

'No,' Cue sobbing.

'Oh, you should try to snatch him away from her!' Dr Lim's (usually older) girlfriends would advise. And they would go sing karaoke.

Huh? What?

Finally, 2 years later, Dr Lim had an epiphany as to why it's preferable to steal another woman's boyfriend.

When you meet a cute, single, straight, normal guy, you're up against the 1,989,728 other beautiful, single, straight, sexy women with better jobs and cooking skills in Sydney city. Or, thanks to globalization, the entire fucking female population.

When you meet a cute, straight, nice guy who's taken, you just have to be more beautiful, sexier and basically better than.. his current girlfriend.

1,989,728 v. 1

Dr Lim presented her findings over dinner to Dr Lee and Dr Gao, and Dr Gao, also an expert in the field, further extrapolated on the idea, saying, 'But after you successfully steal the guy, you're back to Square 1. Namely, instead of You v. Girlfriend, you are now You v. Entire Female Population Who Might Steal Your Man Because They Don't Want to Compete With 1,989,728 Other Women For An Eligible Single Guy.'

There is no rest for the weary.




No comments: