Wednesday, 22 October 2014

the case for death

Recently there has been a lot of coverage in my reading circles about Brittany Maynard, who made a video about her decision to 'die with dignity'.

Death is something I think about a lot. If I have a spare moment, I'm probably thinking about how much I want to die, how to die, who died, how much I don't want to die, how I don't want my loved ones to die etc.

When I first learned about euthanasia, I was of course unnerved by the concept of open mediated death. But mum said it can be a good thing - a way to alleviate additional suffering from terminal illness, as in Brittany's case. However, as with all things, the right to euthanise is accompanied by the risk of people abusing the system - to access inheritances etc. Still, between euthanasia and no euthanasia, having an option to chose death appeals more to me, despite the legal complexities which may arise from euthanasia.

Back to Brittany - I was all for her cause, but at the same time when I read her interview where she stressed that she was not suicidal, I felt that this negative connotation associated with suicide is uncalled for, and I had an epiphany of sorts.

One day we will live in a world where people can chose an assisted death even if they do not suffer from terminal illness of the body.

People who want to die should be free and able to do so, without causing train delays (by jumping in front of incoming train), scarring innocent bystanders (by letting people stumble upon your body - cut up / burnt / smashed into pieces / just hanging), taking away limited medical personnel from people who want to live (v stupid suicide attempts which they probably knew wouldn't work).

When you give people a legit way to die, my guess is majority of them will realise living is not so bad after all. Living things are usually born with an instinct, a need to live. (Plus death could be much, much worse.) And if these people really want to die, we may as well help them ease their suffering of the mind. Save the resources for people who want them.

And why are people of judgemental of people's lifestyle - deathstyle? - choices. Think of all the things people couldn't accept in the past - homosexuality, for example - but which are more okay with the general public now. They were born this way, you might think. Well, serious suicide contenders might be born that way, too.

I shared my - rudimentary - 'progressive crazy thinking' with K, who thought it was nonsensical and just crazy and said that I am the most idealistic person she has ever met.

On a personal note, I am recently really feeling the urge to cook! I have a bajillion recipes collected but I guess they would have to wait until November!

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

a cafe on Glebe Point Road

Sometimes I think Sydney is so pretty.

Stopped by this cafe last Sunday to grab a cronut and soy flat white on the way to pick up some stuff I left behind at my old place.

Are cronuts supposed to taste oily? Or is it just that all the cronuts I've sampled are oily? It's gross.

Anyway all my boxes have been unpacked and I'm getting used to my new place (#6).

We have a shared food system which is quite interesting. Basically everybody takes turns cooking. So after you cook, you knock on everybody's doors and say, 'Dinner is ready!' And you're free to use everything in the pantry and kitchen fridge. Kind of like at home. (There is a fridge in the lounge for private foodstuffs.)

But then everybody can eat separately. Some eat in the TV lounge. April eats in her room. I eat in the dining room.

The cook doesn't have to do the dishes. If you did the dishes you can mark it on a sheet (W for washing, C for cooking) and at the end of the month Ray will tally up everybody's contribution.

It's quite different, and I like it - for now - because I don't have to cook for one every night! And I get to eat home cooked food!

Plus the room is twice the size of my old room - though still smaller than my room back home. And it's 6 minutes to the railway station (used to be 10!). From there work is just one stop away!

The neighbourhood seems nice, and K lives at the next stop, Soph lives 2 stops down, Royal North Shore Hospital is a $14 cab ride away.

The only downside is I need to actively try to consume more fruits and vegetables because my housemates don't buy/cook enough of them. But otherwise all good!

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

a hospital stay

这次去 Royal North Shore Hospital 的 Emergency Department 经验比上次去 Royal Prince Albert Hospital 的好很多。


I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it makes me feel much better to be in a hospital when I'm in pain.

Even though I think I suffered more because of the bloody cannula!

And I hate IV drips. (although I'm quite fascinated by all the tubes because it's totally different from my world where I.. don't get tubes stuck in me.)

(Then I thought about how people easily rip off their cannulas on TV! Pffttt! I wanted it out but the nurse said, sorry, cannula has to be in until discharge; and as much as I wanted to, I doubt ripping the cannula out IRL is going to be like on TV.)

And how the lights are on all the time.

And the noise - screaming patients, moaning patients..

And how the nurse always leaves my curtain partially open.

And how my stupid hospital gown came undone while walking to the toilet and I flashed all the staff members. (At least it was from behind!)

And how hard it is to sleep despite the exhaustion.

And how much harder it is to stay awake during drips - which I need to because I can feel it otherwise. And it doesn't feel pleasant.

And how boring it all is.

And being shuttled around on a bed (mix of fun + scary) and left on corridors with a note on me like a dead body.

After one night in Emergency my blood pressure dropped to 97/51 despite the saline being pumped into me. Hospitals are no joke.

And it sucks having to Google for an Emergency department, book a cab and pack essentials (phone charger, water bottle) by myself when I feel like my tummy is trying to kill me at 1am.

But after 3 painkillers (one a slightly stronger dose) all the annoyances fell away and I'm in my cocoon of pain-free bliss.

Plus when the nurse gave me my first blanket it was warm!

And it was much better than being stuck at home in pain.

So they found out what was wrong with me in the morning and I was free to go!

And that is the end of my first hospital stay.

Health is wealth!

I think I should sign up for some classes, because I seem to be feeling unwell with increasing frequency nowadays. And the only exercise I'm doing is my weekly Zumba class, which I die die also must go because I paid for it!

I want to stop seeing doctors, because every time I see them, they draw blood and run tests and find something wrong with me - however minor. Better see my fitness instructor rather than my doctor!

Monday, 6 October 2014


Finally, after 2 years of thinking about it, I went to Cronulla!

Cronulla is a Southern beach about 40 minutes drive from the city, and I have wanted to go since I heard it's a dog-friendly beach.

On Sunday us girls drove to Cronulla to celebrate Kitty's birthday.

And I surprised myself by going for a swim under the blazing sun. The water was ice cold, which can be a bit unbearable - K got a headache - but it was super refreshing. The waves were humongous, so one can't really swim, but it was fun floating around with the ebb and flow of the sea.

Then Soph and I walked around town to find cake, and ended up buying award-winning Frangipani gelato instead.

A bit of lying around, then back to the city to check out Kitty's new digs, which were fabulous. She has a walk-in closet. Enough said.

Today I went to Ikea bright and early to look at furniture for new room, but as of now nothing is confirmed. Things will work out things will work out..

Back to the grind tomorrow!

Grass is a much better option than sand!
Cloudless blue sky

Saturday, 4 October 2014

mrs p's, burwood

On Cat's birthday we attended a 9.30am Zumba class then met Jenna for brunch in Burwood.

What kind of person wants to wake up bright and early on her birthday to go exercise?!

Mrs P is so cute.

Big breakfast
Gourmet scrambled eggs
The girls looked a bit suspicious of the gourmet scrambled eggs - which admittedly does look like a pile of crap - but after one bite, were once again convinced of my food ordering talent.

I'm still getting over used to my decision to straighten my hair. Seriously it's so high maintenance. Even if I wash it daily it just sticks flat against my scalp. Thankfully my roots are growing back Min-style, all frizzy and uncontrollable. (Never thought I would ever say that I love my original hair!)

After brunch we walked to a different cafe and ate some more!


Talking with the girls I am once again reminded that everybody has problems.. I don't know why I thought my problems were so much more severe than everybody else's.

And then I went to inspect a friend's place. Then went home and tried to sleep off a migraine. Failing that, I took a Panadol and texted my friends crazy stuff like, my head! My head! 

Anyway I have found a place to move to, and am currently procrastinating by lounging in bed when I should be packing. And shopping for furniture. I have never bought furniture before - only an Ikea Lack Side Table and Clothes Rack. Should be fun!