Today my maternal grandpa passed away.
I don't have many memories of him.
Except my shock when I realised he doesn't know that i am his granddaughter at all. (goes to show that we have an extreme open-door policy at the Tan residence. usually i reckon people would notice when an unknown woman keeps hanging out at your house and eating your food orz.)
But he did show some affection(?) towards Fann, always saying, ‘803 傻了！’(803 is going crazy!) 803 is the unit number of our first family flat, and for some weird reason, Fann's nickname.
And when daddy bought a Benz, gong gong changed ‘803 傻了！’ to 'are you driving the Benz yet?'
When we were little, the 6 of us 小鬼（Eugene, Tao, Eunice, Fann, Louis and i) would go to the roti place opposite popo's home for breakfast. Once gong gong showed up and personally cooked our roti for us - yep, standing next to the proprietor - so we got to cut the queue ;p
He also enjoyed snoozing on a mattress in the living room with the TV on. if anybody switched off the TV, he would snap wide awake and exclaim, 'i was watching it!' (i find this to be a common old-people-habit.)
I don't think I have heard him speak Mandarin more than a handful of times. Usually it's Hokkien - very Hokkien Hokkien. He is an astute businessman but I can never understand what he's saying. Despite his wealth, he remained a simple man - when mum brought Portuguese egg tarts (they were all the rage back then) back home, he would take a couple of them back to his room and place them on the floor! for safekeeping（（惊 (one needs to store foods one wants to eat in one's room when one receives random guests.)
He also refused to move from his shabby, oven-like old home even when a new house with air-con had been built 300metres from his room!
In recent years I hardly even greeted him when I visited Sri Medan, preferring to spend time with popo instead. Sometimes I don't even see him much as he was usually out and about on his lands.
The difference with gong gong is that i don't see him deriving pleasure from his grandkids. Ahgong would gravitate towards the little ones in the house and play with them, but not gong gong.
i won't be flying home for his funeral either, though my manager is back and i can probably apply for personal leave. my bank account, having been emptied for my driving classes, test and license, can't handle it. also, having missed ahgong's funeral, i didn't want to go to gong gong's. it doesn't make sense that i couldn't say goodbye to my beloved ahgong in person but can make the effort for somebody who doesn't know me.
i think there should be a law preventing people from getting haircuts when they're emotionally unstable. i'd rocked up to the new branch of my go-to-salon in Sydney, At the Garden Tokyo Quay St, for my Deep Scalp Treatment and Cut appointment made last week (grand opening special!).
much as i love my long hair, it is extremely difficult to care for! even when i wash it daily with Head and Shoulders i still get dandruff and my scalp always feels sticky, like it can't 'breathe'. it takes forever to dry. and sometimes my hair just feels so heavy i keep thinking, this weight cannot be good for my scalp. all my hair will fall out. i'll be bald!
so when Yuta (who used to work at the Tokyo salon servicing Ayumi Hamasaki!) suggested my current hairstyle, i agreed - after making him promise to keep my fringe long. (i still haven't gotten over the trauma of my last fringe, which marked my last trip to Korean salons. only At the Garden Tokyo from then on!) he seemed so confident i decided to trust him. and the auntie in me feels like paying for a simple 'trim' is a waste of the hairdresser's skills and my AUD.
now my hair is so short! it feels weird. i haven't decided if i like it - one will only find out after a home hair wash and sleep-in. but my head feels lighter and i look forward to easier maintenance. anyway hair grows back so i'm not too fussed. 只是有点怕妈看到我把头发剪掉会杀了我。
however i do find that 头发越长感觉越有女人味。就是不知道 maintenance 值不值得 。果然是女人，写写最后都写到头发去。