Friday, 29 May 2015

morning monologue

this morning when my alarm rang i couldn't open my eyes. (the intern will tell me she has that problem every single day.) but i couldn't open my eyes without feeling like puking, and i'm a morning person! not good.

okay, stay calm. this is just vertigo. you're fine, you just feel like OH MY HEAD!!! MY HEAD! 

okay, can't open your eyes but want to puke? hmm.. 

alright, here's the solution - pretend you're blind and feel your way to the wastepaper bin. dump all the paper inside on the floor and puke into it. blind people live without seeing, you can too! just for a few minutes.

i stumbled out of bed and crawled towards the bin (lucky my room is teeny), overturned it, and leaned over the empty bin.

i feel worse, need to get back into bed.

okay, go back to bed and pretend you're sleeping!

in theory (Dr Min's theory) vertigo should be fixed by sleeping.

lying in bed + eyes closed = sleeping.

in reality it's lying in bed + eyes closed + OH MY HEAD! MY HEAD! = very much awake

add 40 minutes to the equation

lying in bed + eyes closed + OH MY HEAD! MY HEAD! + 40 minutes = very much awake + panic

okay, call the girls. thank goodness i have iphone5 which i can unlock with eyes closed!

presses thumb into fancy hi-tech ID reader.

'Siri, call SOPHY XX.'

'Calling SILVIA PENG..' 'The number you have called..'

'No no no! Siri, call KAX X.'

'Sorry, I couldn't..'

okay, it'll be faster if i open my eyes and record voice messages.

so helpful, Siri!!

Monday, 18 May 2015

morning commute

Do you know what I think about on the way to work?

I look at all the old people around me and this thought uncontrollably pops up in my mind, I hope I die before 30.

And then I feel guilty for having such thoughts - somewhere in the world, somebody is struggling to stay alive, and here I am indulging in first world problems.

But it's hard to contain the panic when I realise that one day my skin will sag, my freckles will become more pronounced, my hairline will recede, my teeth will loosen, my eyesight will deteriorate more, I will lose my hearing (maybe even my mind) and I will have crow's feet.

Sometimes my girlfriend texts me panicky messages re her fear of ageing and seriously I just want to cry but instead I promise her I will get around to reading French Women Don't Get Facelifts and share its wisdom with her.

Recently when I look in the mirror I have been noticing something about my skin - my eyelids are becoming so thin I can see my veins when I close my eyes. Almost had a nervous breakdown in the bathroom.

How do people accept age? All these old people I see everyday, don't they feel consumed with horror at how time has ravaged them?

Sunday, 10 May 2015

我爱的人不爱我

我约我爱的人出去结果惨遭拒绝结果只好化悲愤为食量

午餐去 fish market 吃 sashimi 和 nigiri。

甜点到 cow and the moon (ranked best in the WORLD!) 吃 queenslander (mango + macadamia,很有 WEI'S 的感觉)+ breakfast cereal gelato。

然后再到超市买 frozen pizza 和酒-

(frozen pizza 很美味,下次研究是什么牌子,听说是德国牌子,在欧洲很盛行。)


现在有点年纪了,喝酒会胃痛。

现在有点年纪了,男生也不愿意替我顶酒了,结果是女生替我顶-becks 我爱你!!!

明天我就不爱我爱的人了!我要爱 becks 了!(吓死人家)

Saturday, 9 May 2015

gecko


I was cleaning my room the other night when I spotted this little buddy in my closet.

Have to admit it's a bit cute, all fat and stripey, but I was still afraid of it.

Apes came to the rescue again, picking it up and releasing it back into our backyard - which means I may meet Mr Gecko again in the future.

Last night was Dips' birthday, and I met people I haven't seen for awhile. To the typical question 'What's up?' I had no exciting answer, which calls for some rethinking about how I'm living.

Darn, I hate thinking about life. It makes me all sxxxxxxx.

Basically every day I wake at 7am, put in a load of laundry if necessary (you wouldn't believe the backlog I have from Sydney's rainy weekend), weigh myself then drink a mug of warm water.

Then it's shower, 4 sprays of Gypsy Water before getting dressed, checking the weather, selecting my outfit (omg this part can take forever), followed by a mug of hot lemon and honey.

After blow-drying my hair and 4 more spritzes of Gypsy Water (yes, exactly 4 each time, I have mild OCD) I leave for work around 9am, where I spend 3 hours laughing at the intern's jokes, the other 3 at my manager's and the remaining 1 at my colleague's. (I'm not sure if they're really that humorous or if I just laugh easy. But they try.)

Lunch is usually a group affair at Artarmon if we have a car, or I'll go to a nearby cafe with a book (Lean In atm. Reading the chapter on partnership with Dave and feeling bittersweet).

After work I go home, get my clothes from the clothesline in the backyard - all the while quaking in fear (it's dark and when it's windy the leaves rustle like they're alive and evil) then have my after-work snack.

If I'm on cooking duty I make dinner; if not I practice violin for 20 minutes. After that I'm supposed to be studying for my Coursera course and/or browsing through real estate, but more often than not I'm checking emails / reading blogs / streaming movies and/or TV shows / general lounging on my heated bed (the electric blanket isn't heating as well as it was though) for some navel-gazing and/or devising strategies to hook The Boy (omg it's so much hard work, I'm giving up).

At 10pm I shower and crawl back to my heated bed with a book and try to calm myself down for my 11pm bedtime. My friend says I dream every single night because of all the reading I do prior to sleeping, but I haven't yet found a better way to unwind at night, although I'd like to stop dreaming for awhile.

This is my life in autumn. Should be way more exciting, seeing as I'm single 'and ready to MINgle', as the intern said. But I can't tear myself away from my bed nooo~ (I'm not upgrading my electric blanket, as I fear I might be unable to leave my bed until September if I get a perfect one.)

Sunday, 3 May 2015

April 2015

On Friday I was talking to my manager when I had a moment.

I have been experiencing these moments more and more recently - one Saturday I was chattering away to Dan when I had one and suddenly stopped.

'What?' he'd asked.

'I lost my train of thought.'

'What?!'

'What was I talking about?' Seriously I cannot remember, although I did remember it was something important - I haven't talked so passionately in a long time.

'You were saying The Matrix was too hard on Neo.. ' (Sorry Dan that you have to listen to my 'passionate' talks. But you're the only one who will indulge my Matrix obsession.)

Back to Friday. My manager and I were talking about this and that, and I'd wondered aloud, 'Is it May now?'

'Yes, Min.' (Thanks, intern.)

Ugh. Can't believe it. A month closer to death and I have yet to make any progress in life.

Hello Fresh
 I tried Hello Fresh, a meal-planning/ingredient-delivery service. I love it because it's so easy - you just follow the instructions in the recipe booklet using the ingredients delivered in exact amounts, and you'll get to sample new cuisines. (I learned that vinegar makes everything taste better!)

However, it's not cheap, so I'm back to ordering groceries from Aussie Farmers Direct, which I don't really like. It isn't exactly cheap, but still, it's less expensive.

Martica
I also met up with Martica after 3 years! I'd actually driven to pick her up from her hotel in the middle of nowhere, and we'd gone to the city to visit her old haunts.

Roti kok
Being a polite Taiwanese, Martica had generously brought gifts and bought dinner. Gifts included delicious roti kok (which I'm gonna stock up on in July), a cute tea-strainer, face masks and face masks -


Sitting still
April birthday (Keene)
The funny thing about Keene's birthday is that I took it upon myself to organise his gift. Then people started asking me questions I can't answer, like -

When is his real birthday?
What's his cake preference?
What does he want for his birthday?
What's his occupation?
How old will he be?

When they discover I know nothing about him, they're like, why are you organising his gift anyway?!

Because if I organised my own birthday party and everybody showed up sans gift I would cry.

Despite him and Soph sharing a birthday, I probably exerted less effort for Soph because.. she was already going on a romantic getaway with the love of her life her boyfriend whom she feels strong affection for. (The girls say I use 'love' too liberally. I do, but then I believe actions speak louder than words.)

So she's going to have a good birthday even if we exert little effort. That's what I think, anyway. Once people feel strong affection for someone, this singular person can have more influence over all the other people combined.

I'm over-thinking! (Crystal has been staying with me for the past 2 nights and already she's vomiting blood while listening to me speak. 'You over-think, Min!')

Oops.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

march 2015

Recently I missed my cousin's wedding. So I am sad/grumpy/sulky. Also feel very 委屈,but when I think about it nobody forced me to stay in Sydney. Nobody forced me not to attend this wedding. It's my own fault that I don't make enough to visit home more often.

NSW is not bad -

Black Star Pastry
Once I like something I rarely stray. Now you know how I can remain in love with the same boy for years and years and years and years and then some more years. I like Black Star, though this black sesame seed cake is too light for my palate.



This bear made me smile when I was a mess over ahgong's death.

Personality test - inaccurate
50km
After logging 50k I stopped running. Oops.

Balmain
Where we had our March birthday celebrations.

A diet book from my sis haha

And then..
Aqua S Tomato & Sea Salt Ice-Cream


After catching up with ex-colleagues one weeknight, Jennifer and I went to try Aqua S' ice-cream. The tomato is like frozen tomato juice, but the real highlight is sea salt! It's like food colouring which tastes like salted vanilla soft-serve. Yum! It's huge-ass, though, so sharing is mandatory.

Eleanor & Park
Sometimes I feel I should no longer be reading novels (somehow they feel like hobbies for the very young and/or very idle) but I loved Eleanor & Park. It's so pretty yet gritty. Kinda like Gypsy Water.