Friday, 29 May 2015

morning monologue

this morning when my alarm rang i couldn't open my eyes. (the intern will tell me she has that problem every single day.) but i couldn't open my eyes without feeling like puking, and i'm a morning person! not good.

okay, stay calm. this is just vertigo. you're fine, you just feel like OH MY HEAD!!! MY HEAD! 

okay, can't open your eyes but want to puke? hmm.. 

alright, here's the solution - pretend you're blind and feel your way to the wastepaper bin. dump all the paper inside on the floor and puke into it. blind people live without seeing, you can too! just for a few minutes.

i stumbled out of bed and crawled towards the bin (lucky my room is teeny), overturned it, and leaned over the empty bin.

i feel worse, need to get back into bed.

okay, go back to bed and pretend you're sleeping!

in theory (Dr Min's theory) vertigo should be fixed by sleeping.

lying in bed + eyes closed = sleeping.

in reality it's lying in bed + eyes closed + OH MY HEAD! MY HEAD! = very much awake

add 40 minutes to the equation

lying in bed + eyes closed + OH MY HEAD! MY HEAD! + 40 minutes = very much awake + panic

okay, call the girls. thank goodness i have iphone5 which i can unlock with eyes closed!

presses thumb into fancy hi-tech ID reader.

'Siri, call SOPHY XX.'

'Calling SILVIA PENG..' 'The number you have called..'

'No no no! Siri, call KAX X.'

'Sorry, I couldn't..'

okay, it'll be faster if i open my eyes and record voice messages.

so helpful, Siri!!

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