Saturday, 21 November 2015

if you are the one

Recently my friends convinced me to apply for the Australian special of hit Chinese dating show If you are the one. I'd heard of it, and have also watched the 2 movies with the same title - though I've never watched the TV show.



The concept of IYATO is, in essence, 24 single ladies being 'wooed' by a series of male suitors. The male contestants appear onstage one at a time, and pitches his suitability as a boyfriend and describes what he is looking for in an ideal girl. 'A dating show' is what the public sees, although the executive producer says that it is, an essence, a talk show showcasing what the Chinese youth are thinking.

Fifi roped in her boy Thomas and KW to put together my application to join IYATO as a female contestant at her farewell dinner. The girls drafted my script, tidied my hair and Thomas recorded my 1-minute video describing why I want to join IYATO.

Right before the deadline, I stayed in on a Friday night to fill out the lengthy, very personal and badly designed application form.

The braid that was not to be.. 

video

Why do I say 'badly-designed'? Because one day, my friend texted me, what kind of guys do you like?

I'd replied with a screenshot of the 'Future Boyfriend' section my application form. After awhile he'd texted, 'Very tall.'

'High income earner also.'

Haha the only reason why it's so tall is because the answers on the form were capped, ie. my minimum height requirement is 170cm, but the options are 169cm - 173cm, 174cm - 178cm, etc. So I picked 179cm - 183cm.

To my surprise I made it to the interview round, and went to Intercontinental last Sunday, armed with the few episodes of IYATO I'd watched in preparation. There were other applicants filling out forms in the waiting room, and I was surprised by how.. not very attractive everybody was (all looked like some version of me, some slightly worse). It's a stark contrast to the beautiful Sydney girls out in the city.

After waiting for an hour, I was led to a screened-off area to meet the producer. She skimmed through my application (I haven't written Chinese in years!) then murmured questions like, 'You said you broke up with your ex because of XYZ, please elaborate.'

We briefly went through my 'ideal guy' - Asian, single lids, responsible.. then she suddenly stopped and said 'That's it for today, we'll email you next week if you are successful.'

Obviously, the one-week is up and I haven't been selected :'(

(That night I attended a forum at the University of Western Sydney, where the producer confirmed what my friends told me - the contestants should be distinctive and eloquent in order to carry the show. Guess my one-word answers didn't quite cut it.)

Still, it was an interesting experience, because there is nothing I enjoy more than talking about my failed relationships to a stranger with a camera in my face ;p

So I guess if I want to meet The One / go to Nanjing / Maldives, I'll have to do it some other way!

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

coulda, woulda, shoulda

Recently my cousin shared her feelings of mum-guilt* at not spending enough time and effort in appeasing the monster in her son's room ((smiles. I'm no mum, but in her I see my mother, who still kicks herself over the time she didn't let us sleep in her room when we were in primary school.

What happened was - my sister's friend had loaned her a Child's Play VCD, which is a totally inappropriate movie for kids. Still, being kids, we insisted upon watching it and ended up being scared witless and unable to sleep at night.

My memory is fuzzy, so I can only recall us 3 kids (it's good to have siblings!) huddled outside our parents' locked bedroom door. I was kicking myself for watching a movie meant for adults. I'm not sure if we knocked - probably too scared to - but somehow mum found out eventually and was racked with mum-guilt over it.

She even mentioned it when I visited home last year. It's been - what - at least 15 years since that night! Plus we kids had it coming for watching movies we shouldn't.

Despite the 'trauma' we grew up reasonably well-adjusted. Kids are a lot more resilient than they appear to me. Children understand a lot more than one expects.

Ah, the all-consuming emotions of motherhood.. this is probably why my mama doesn't recommend kids ;p

*a special kind of guilt only experienced by mums, not dads. Coined by me, who has neither a PhD nor kids.