Tuesday, 10 November 2015

coulda, woulda, shoulda

Recently my cousin shared her feelings of mum-guilt* at not spending enough time and effort in appeasing the monster in her son's room ((smiles. I'm no mum, but in her I see my mother, who still kicks herself over the time she didn't let us sleep in her room when we were in primary school.

What happened was - my sister's friend had loaned her a Child's Play VCD, which is a totally inappropriate movie for kids. Still, being kids, we insisted upon watching it and ended up being scared witless and unable to sleep at night.

My memory is fuzzy, so I can only recall us 3 kids (it's good to have siblings!) huddled outside our parents' locked bedroom door. I was kicking myself for watching a movie meant for adults. I'm not sure if we knocked - probably too scared to - but somehow mum found out eventually and was racked with mum-guilt over it.

She even mentioned it when I visited home last year. It's been - what - at least 15 years since that night! Plus we kids had it coming for watching movies we shouldn't.

Despite the 'trauma' we grew up reasonably well-adjusted. Kids are a lot more resilient than they appear to me. Children understand a lot more than one expects.

Ah, the all-consuming emotions of motherhood.. this is probably why my mama doesn't recommend kids ;p

*a special kind of guilt only experienced by mums, not dads. Coined by me, who has neither a PhD nor kids.

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